All six Raw Elimination Chamber wrestlers are in the ring at podiums. Jerry Lawler introduces a DEBATE! He is quickly interrupted by John Laurinaitis, flanked by David Otunga. He and Punk cut promos. Then Vickie Guerrero comes out. It’s a promo clustermess! R Truth cuts a long promo encouraging WHATs. Spider Stew? This is crazy. Miz gets on the mic and talks about main eventing Wrestlemania last year, then a debate buzzer sounds several times to cut him off. Jericho cuts a long promo, and CM Punk no sells, claiming he wasn’t paying attention. Tonight we’ll have singles preview matches of Miz/Punk, Kofi/Jericho and Truth/Dolph. Jericho pushes the podiums aside and goes for Punk slowly, who raises the title to taunt Jericho. Kofi approaches from behind and kicks Jericho and that match… is…. NEXT
Out comes Triple H in a suit, to his music. He runs down John Laurinaitis. Then talks about the Undertaker. Taker is the only guy that can give Triple H “that feeling” and he felt it when the music hit last week. He thinks the Undertaker isn’t at the top of his game anymore and declines the challenge for Mania. Triple H ends by saying he’d have to “finish it” which might be what the Undertaker wants, but he’s not going to do it. His music plays, but then stops, then the arena goes black. A video shows on the Titantron with highlights of last year, and the Undertaker sitting and watching them. He doesn’t want to be remembered for being taken out in a stretcher in his last match, even if he won it.
We kick things off with Executive Vice President of Talent Relations John Laurinaitis, who glad hands the fans. Then he cuts a very nervous promo, indicating false confidence of his review tonight with Triple H, who he compliments. He announces the Raw Elimination Chamber with – CM Punk, Kofi Kingston, R Truth, The Miz, Dolph Ziggler and Chris Jericho. He also runs down the card for Raw which includes Kofi vs. The Miz and bafflingly Champion vs Champion with CM Punk vs Daniel Bryan. This cues “Cult of Personality” and CM Punk comes out, leading the crowd in “Na Na Na Na Goodbye”. He finally gets into the ring face to face with Laurinaitis and cuts a promo on him. Daniel Bryan is next to come out, and he talks about his win over The Big Show and Mark Henry last night. Bryan said no one cares about the soap opera between Punk and Laurinaitis. Punk suggest they put on a clinic tonight. Next out comes Sheamus! He wants to remind everyone that he’s the winner of the 2012 Royal Rumble match. He’ll be watching tonight to help decide which champion to challenge.
We kick things off with The Hardcore Legend, Mick Foley. He comes out and cuts a promo first on himself and his career. Mick wants to have his younger kids see him wrestle so he enters the Royal Rumble. Vickie Guerrero interupts (without music!) and asks everyone to excuse her. Dolph Ziggler comes out and makes fun of him for being old and taking a spot from a young guy. He says here is how the Rumble will go for his kids – Yay it’s daddy! Oh he’s eliminated. Ha. Then says they will be worried again he will steal their lunch and eat it. Dolph plans on winning at the Rumble and it would be a huge disappointment if somehow he had to face Foley. CM Punk’s music plays and he comes out to defend Foley and run down Ziggler, Vickie and John Laurinaitis. This brings out the former Johnny Ace, who denies Foley a spot in the Rumble. Really strong segment mixing Punk (current main eventer), Foley (Legend) and Ziggler (being pushed) in a logical way that built to both Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania.
Then we are LIVE and wouldn’t you know it, Kane is here! He enters to his music and lighting effectz. Kane has a mic and cuts a promo about hate and etc. Finally about 9:08 John Cena comes out and breaks up the fun. He and Kane brawl ALL OVER THIS ARENA. They brawl to the outside and it appears – for now – that John Cena has the advantage.
Raw starts off with a video recap of the Kane/John Cena SAGA that unfolded to close out 2011.
John Cena is here! He cuts a wacky promo about his gimmick and not turning heel. Promo has some jokes, not very good. Kane music! Kane is here and he promises to show John Cena the meaning of hate tonight.
Things get kicked off with “Cult of Personality” playing, but instead John Laurinaitis comes out wearing a CM Punk shirt. He cuts a promo talking about being unpredictable. Soon after, CM Punk comes out to a huge pop with Raw in Chicago. He cuts a promo on Laurinaitis. At first Laurinaitis says Punk will not be wrestling tonight, then books him in a 3 on 1 gauntlet match where if any of the 3 pin him, they get a title shot next week. Punk wants something if HE wins and goads Laurinaitis into a match. So it will be CM Punk vs 3 mystery men then if he wins, Punk vs. Laurinaitis tonight on Raw.
South Park season 15 has been another huge year for Matt and Trey, and after 6 episodes this half-season and 13 in season 15, we’re at the season finale.
1. The boys are learning about Thanksgiving in school, and later watch a History Channel special on Thanksgiving. The special has outlandish claims about how Thanksgiving was inhabited by aliens, backed up by serious-sounding scientists and professors.
1. There is a new Gossip Girl-style blog at South Park Elementary called “The Eavesdropper” that all the kids are following for gossip. The first kid that they had gossiped about had taken a #2 in his pants.